The Neat Box of Media Outrage

A gay Latter-day Saint's response to David Archuleta's Delta, UT concert controversy

I ran a red light this morning. 

If you’re a cop, and you’re reading this, I’m joking. If not, bear with me, and this will all come into the picture shortly.

I woke up this morning and immediately did that horrible thing we all do right when we wake up: I checked my phone. I started the day instantly transporting to worries far away from me—a practice I’m trying to stop and wouldn’t recommend. Upon opening Instagram, I saw that former American Idol contestant, David Archuleta, posted about his experience performing a Christmas concert at Delta High School Tuesday night. Delta is a small farming town in central Utah. Population: ~3,602. In the post, David shared an email from a patron of the event, sharing his frustrations with some messaging David shared about his experience identifying as “queer” and going through a faith crisis. A few patrons reportedly walked out of the concert.

Immediately upon seeing the post, I knew I was going to have to write something about it. I’m a gay Latter-day Saint attempting to help other gay Latter-day Saints live their faith, so nothing riles me up more than someone doing the opposite—or more accurately, the media reporting a sensationalized version of someone doing the opposite. I get plenty of mean comments, wild accusations, and ad hominem attacks as a gay, active LDS man in a mixed-orientation marriage and promoting my faith, and the majority of it rolls off my back. If you want to upset me, however, misunderstand something I say—either willfully or ignorantly, and I’ll make a video about you or write a dissertation. I despise being misunderstood or having my faith misunderstood, and seeing that post, I knew that’s what was inevitably coming in the media cycle about David’s concert. I also spent two years of my high school career in Delta, so the story felt extra relevant to my life. 

All of this was on my mind this morning, and I was eager to get to my job as a video editor for a private school to jot down some notes for this article. (If you’re my manager, and you’re reading this, I’m joking). Needless to say, a yellow-adjacent red light wasn’t going to slow me down.

My Time in Delta

Speaking of stop lights, when I lived in Delta in the early 2010s, they boasted only one in the middle of town. There were two local grocery stores, a handful of gas stations, and a few chain restaurants. The town follows the same pattern as other small Utah towns, being made up of primarily Latter-day Saints. It’s not as monolithic as you might think, however. I remember being surprised at how robust the group of LGBTQ students was. Delta was the first time I was blatantly asked if I was gay by another gay kid. Subsequently, it was the first time I could quickly deny it. Of course, that was a lie, but I wasn’t ready to let anyone know at that point.

I grew up in St. George, Utah for the majority of my life. During the Summer before my Freshman year of high school, my parents dropped a bomb on me and my 7 siblings: we were moving to Delta, Utah. I didn’t have the slightest idea where that was, but I put up as good of a fight as any other teenager learning his life was about to be uprooted.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to make friends in Delta. I met so many amazing people who shared my values, my sense of humor, and my religious beliefs. One underrated aspect of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is how quickly you can feel at home, no matter where you move. The culture of the church is often criticized for being judgmental and monolithic, but a less cynical analysis leaves you with a worldwide ward family and the inevitable few bad apples. 

My dad managed the small Deseret Industries thrift store there for a year and a half before they had to close it down, forcing us to move back to St. George. I refused to switch schools halfway through my Junior year, so I lived with a ward family to finish out the year before moving back. 

Knowing the dynamics of the town, it isn’t hard for me to put myself in the situation of David’s performance. The media has already spent thousands of words disparaging the people of Delta, but in reality, it’s full of kind, loving, angelic, small-town people with hearts of gold. 

What Did the Media Get Wrong?

I wrote the majority of this article before the mainstream press picked it up, but I didn’t have to change many details about what they got wrong—not because I’m a fortune teller, but because they’re as predictable as sunshine in July. Before we get into that, however, what were the patrons upset about?

In the video showing the moment he discussed his faith crisis, David said a lot of true, incontestable things. He also shared a lot of heartache for which you’d have to be a psychopath not to have sympathy. He shared his experience dating women and it not working, a situation for which I can have a lot of empathy. (Before meeting my wife, I had those same issues). He shared his struggles with mental health and suicidal ideation, both of which, again, you’d have to have a heart of stone not to feel for him. The general sentiment of his message was positive, compassionate, and genuine. So why would anyone be upset and walk out of the performance?

Outlets like People Magazine, Queerty, and Insider are good case studies as to why. As usual, they only told one side of the story and put the situation in a neat little box. According to their reporting, David innocently shared his experience without a hint of activism, and the only reason people walked out was that they were homophobic. As is so common, the nuance was stripped from the situation to paint an oppressor vs oppressed narrative. Within this typical narrative creation, the only reason someone would be offended by the advocacy of same-sex unions is a deep hatred of gay people. 

Recently, Bob Iger—reinstated, former CEO of Disney—had a meeting with Disney employees to talk about the company’s future relationship with political activism. In the video, he expressed a sentiment shared by many on the progressive side of the aisle. Namely, that there is nothing “political” about LGBTQ issues. He and so many other progressively-minded people see their opinion on LGBTQ issues as politically neutral, because they lack the ability to put themselves in the shoes of religious people. In their minds, the belief that gender is eternal and that marriage is ordained by God to be between a man and a woman is too archaic and hateful to keep within the Overton window. Like the rest of us, they surround themselves with like-minded people and grow more and more hatred for the other side. The difference is the progressive side of the aisle can be much more effective at shielding themselves from conservative thought. Conservatives don’t have a hold on entertainment and media as progressives do. A conservative will run across progressivism just by turning on the tv. A progressive usually has to consciously seek out conservative media. This inability of progressives to offer religious conservatives the benefit of the doubt deepens the divide of misunderstanding between us.

I haven’t interviewed the patrons of the show who walked out, but I think there is a more plausible explanation for their actions besides hate. I’m willing to bet it wasn’t because they hate gay people. It wasn’t because David shared his struggles with mental health. It wasn’t because he promoted mutual love and respect for LGBTQ people. They were mad for two reasons: first, because David misinterpreted our religion to paint an inaccurate view of the God we worship; and second, because he took the power out of the hands of parents.

Misunderstanding God

Growing up, my mom had a quote from our former prophet and President of the church, Thomas S. Monson. It said simply, “Decisions determine destiny.” As with most things our prophets say, modern culture would turn that quote on its head. Instead of decisions determining destiny, the rising generation is taught that desires determine destiny. Our desires—especially sexual—inevitably and unavoidably place us on the path of pursuing one sex or the other, and there’s nothing we can do about it. Religious convictions and God-given responsibilities come second.

Modern culture teaches LGBTQ youth to put all the eggs in the basket of sexual and gender identity. It teaches them that difficult things should be avoided at all costs. It teaches them that desires in and of themselves are indicative of a deeper identity you must discover for yourself. Those ideas create a perfect storm for tying your sexual and gender identity deeply into the grains of your sense of self and hating anyone who sees things differently.

God teaches the opposite through ancient scripture and our current prophets and apostles. Many argue that policy changes like polygamy and priesthood restrictions set a precedent for the church to eventually sanction same-sex sealings in our temples. But changes in policy are eons removed from changes in irrevocable, timeless doctrine. Even though he doesn’t believe in our doctrine anymore, David uses the backbone of his estranged faith to repaint God with a more palatable brush. He’s of course free to do so, but you can’t reshape a religion, preach your new version to members of that faith, and not expect to at the very least ruffle some feathers. I can’t imagine teaching a revised version of Judaism to a group of Orthodox Jews and then getting offended that they didn’t like my sermon.

I’ve spoken many times about a common, divisive message LGBTQ activists push. It goes as follows: reconciliation can’t and won’t occur until religious people and communities adopt and celebrate the activist-approved path forward for LGBTQ people. Albeit in a less aggressive and more tactful manner, David furthered this message during his Christmas concert in Delta. He admittedly exhibited bravery in sharing the real pain he has experienced, but in so doing he came to an incorrect conclusion about God. He mistook the comforting embrace of a loving Father in Heaven for a license to break His commandments. Being enmeshed in the celebrity culture, it’s not particularly shocking he would come to that conclusion. I’m not sure I’d come out ideologically unscathed in his situation. I don’t know David’s heart and am not passing any judgments on his position with God, but I am making a judgment about the morality of his choice and advocacy—a practice we all do and should do every single day.

Taking the Power away from Parents

The other thing that the patrons of this show likely felt was blindsided and powerless. 

Disney has been facing a lot of criticism for including LGBTQ themes in their recent content, most notably the movies, “Lightyear”, and “Strange World.” Both of these movies bombed at the box office, earning significantly less revenue than the company projected. The overly simplistic analysis of why these movies failed is “homophobia”—the idea that parents are afraid of or inhabit a deep hatred for gay people.

The truth is that parents typically don’t like other companies, organizations, or people taking it upon themselves to teach moral issues to their children. Parents know their kids best. They know when and how they’ll respond best to learning about the moral issues that face our culture. More frequently, media companies, activist groups, and even government entities are taking it upon themselves to act as adjunct moral authorities for our kids. They wrongfully assume we’d prefer to outsource our parenting to them, and then they call us bigoted when we object to that proposal.

The older generation wasn’t prepared for the advent of the Internet; no one could’ve been. As such, they weren’t ready to prepare their children to safely navigate a nearly endless field of influencers, celebrities, and gurus. My wife and I have decided to limit our children’s access to the internet as much as possible, but when they do begin their Internet use, we plan on staying as up-to-date as possible on what influencers they’re following, what movies and tv shows they’re watching, and what circles they’re frequenting. I want to have a solid understanding of what ideas they’re encountering, so I know how to protect them against the often divisive, evil ideas found on the cesspool we call the Internet.

A quick look at David’s social media pages would’ve shown these patrons the trajectory he’s headed in, and the likelihood a message like the one he expressed would’ve come up. It’s a fine balance between sheltering your children and allowing them to experience opposition to their beliefs, but we as parents know best what they’re able to handle at different points in their development. 

These patrons, many of which were likely parents with their children present, should’ve been more prepared for the concert. But many parents from older generations aren’t exposed to the same online culture in which my generation lives. They likely weren’t expecting to encounter a complex moral discussion at a Christmas concert in a high school.

If I still lived in Delta, I don’t know if I would’ve taken my children to that concert. If I did find myself there, instead of walking out, I would’ve sat through it and had a discussion with my kids afterward. I would’ve assessed their thoughts on the matter and explained that we can have compassion for David’s experience and feelings without adopting his beliefs about the nature of God and His plan for us. 

As much as the media would like to cynically fit all criticism of David in a tight, little box, the truth is more nuanced. Patrons weren’t upset with the message of love; they were upset at the misconstruction of their beliefs and the blindsided activism during a Christmas concert. 

Conclusion

I reject the popular cultural narrative that you can’t love someone while disagreeing on moral issues. I will continue to fight for this nuance—offering the benefit of the doubt when I can to those who disagree with me. 

Like the rest of us, David has things to be grateful for and reasons to mourn. In his monologue, he expressed how disgusting, broken, and bitter he has felt because of his sexual orientation. I hate that he has felt those things. I regret that imperfect people and a flawed grasp of our doctrine led him to such self-hatred. The gospel is the good news for everyone, even gay members of the church. Christ is there to heal all our wounds, including self-hatred. Gay members of the church aren’t any more broken than the rest of us. The good news is Christ is there, ready to put us back together. 

I’m a firm believer in attacking ideas, not people. When addressing specific people, I try my best to still thread that needle and focus on their ideas. Because of the vast amount of influence David has, I felt obligated to point to the flawed ideas he presented. If my compassion extended only to David, I wouldn’t be writing this critique of his concert. However, my compassion extends further than that. It certainly extends to the thousands of impressionable teens that encounter and will be negatively affected by messages like the ones he presented. I wish David the best, but if we avoided the truth every time someone voiced discomfort or hurt they’ve experienced because of it, we would never speak a word of truth again.